WTF: November 2011 Archives

A woman from London has apparently been arrested after a video of her launching into a racist rant on a tram was uploaded to YouTube.

The two-minute video -- which instantly went viral -- featured a mother, with her young boy sitting on her knee on the Croydon to Wimbledon service in South London.

In an expletive-filled tirade she complained that other passengers were not English, saying: "You ain't English. You ain't English either. None of you are f***ing English. Get back to your own...

"My Britain's f*** all now. My British is f*** all." she added… and with people like her it really is.

A mad-capped pianist has dragged his piano up a mountain in Kanchanaburi, Thailand to serenade a group of blind elephants. As you do.

50-year-old Brit Paul Barton -- who played Slow Movement 2 from Beethoven's Pathetique Sonata for the beasts -- made the odd bid in order to raise money for charity.

He says he hopes to raise enough money to install an electric fence at the sanctuary where the injured and handicapped elephants live.

Barton was also quick to point out that the keys on his piano were made from synthetic plastic and that no elephants were injured for the making of his music.

It's more pee than Wii for gamers at a bar in London -- where urine-controlled video games have been installed in their toilets.

Loo-goers at the Exhibit Bar in Balham get to play games -- including askiing game and a quiz -- every time they go to the toilet.

Users (men only) aim their pee in the specially-crafted urinals to control the games which are displayed on LCD screens mounted above.

Bar bosses hope the games will not only attract new customers, but that regulars will drink more in order to play longer and set news high scores.

275x250.jpg A 16-year-old burglar who was ordered to write a letter to the victims of his crime did -- and he called them dumb in it.

The young criminal had been sentenced to a 12-month Intensive Supervision and Surveillance Plan, part of which included writing to his victims.

It had been hoped this would make him confront the way his crime had impacted others and make him see the emotional consequences of his actions.

Instead it gave him a chance to insult them (or would have if it hadn't been intercepted) using the sort of bad grammar and spelling mistakes you only normally see on Newslite.

It's amazing how salmon know to swim upstream to lay their eggs and are able to find their way negotiating rapids and waterfalls… usually.

But a video of lost and confused salmon trying to cross a flooded road in Washington State has become an online hit.

Experts say the salmon were filmed on the side of the Skokomish Valley Road in Seattle after heavy rain had caused flooding to nearby rivers.

The unusual footage shows them wriggling in the water as cars driver past… and answers the question 'why did the salmon cross the road?' -- which no-one had ever asked before seeing this.

275x250.jpg American Samoa -- ranked as the worst international football team in the world -- have finally won their first game… after 17 years of trying.

The US protectorate have previously suffered some embarrassing loses -- including a 31-0 thrashing by 31-0 and are bottom of Fifa's rankings.

But following 30 straight defeats the team have this week managed to get a 2-1 victory over Tonga.

Reports say the players and coach reacted to the win like they'd just won the Premiership, Champions League and World Cup all at the same time.

However, coach Thomas Rongen isn't getting carried away and described the win as "part of soccer history" okay maybe he was getting carried away.

275x250.jpg A doctor in Germany has apparently been sued by a patient after playing a vuvuzela in front of his practice.

The patient claims that during the South African World Cup last summer, the doctor played the annoying instrument near her, causing ear trauma.

She is now demanding £4,500 in damages and £700 in compensation and a civil suit is being heard at a court in Augsburg this week.

The woman -- who was already suffering from tinnitus -- had been offered £1,700 in damages, but is holding out for more.

Well either that or she didn't hear the doctor make her the offer.

275x250.jpg A team of researchers in the US have created the world's lightest material -- which is about one hundred times lighter than Styrofoam.

The new material is said to redefine the limits of lightweight materials because of its unique “micro-lattice” cellular architecture.

That means researchers were able to make a material that consists of 99.99 percent air by designing the 0.01 percent solid at the nanometer, micron and millimeter scales.

"The trick is to fabricate a lattice of interconnected hollow tubes with a wall thickness 1,000 times thinner than a human hair,” said lead author Dr Tobias Schaedler.

The captain of a flight from North Carolina to New York has caused a terror scare -- by accidentally locking himself in the toilet.

Fighter jets were even put on alert after the captain of the Chatauqua Airlines flight disappeared to the loo and didn't come back.

And what made it worse was that the co-pilot became suspicious when the captain sent a foreign-sounding passenger to the cock-pit to explain the situation.

"The captain disappeared. What I'm being told is he's stuck in the toilet and someone with a thick foreign accent is giving me a password to access the cockpit," the co-pilot said to air traffic control.

275x250.jpg When he couldn't get his iPhone to work Michael Skopec didn't know what to do, so he called 911… five times.

Police have now released his frankly bizarre series of calls in a bid to prevent other idiots wasting their time.

Kendall County Sheriff's Department say an intoxicated Skopec called them asking "Why is my iPhone not working?" and adding: "My emergency is my fucking phone don’t work."

In other calls he asks "Why can’t I dial the numbers I used to be able to dial?" and "Why can’t you direct me to the AT&T people?"

When 911 operators told him they were sending an officer round to his house “That’s pretty dumb,” Skopec remarked. “On whose part?” the operator replied.

275x250.jpg A new course has launched in the UK which promises to teach zombie apocalypse-fearing folk everything they need to survive an undead uprising.

Zombie Boot Camp -- which runs in Driotwich, Worcestershire and costs £59 -- has been specially created in order to help train and prepare people for the eventuality of a zombie invasion.

The experience day sees would-be zombie battlers take part in training from expert military instructors before being kitted out in helmets, safety goggles and Kevlar body armour.

Then it's on to learning how to fight zombies with weapons including a pistol, grenades a rifle and a chainsaw -- before taking part in a training exercise and tackling a warehouse full of zombies.

275x250.jpg A series of bizarre images on Google Maps showing strange structures and patterns in the Gobi desert in China have sparked conspiracy theories.

Images show massive grid-like and spiral patterns marked into the ground in the less than 100 miles from the headquarters of China's space programme in Jiuquan.

Some people believe the markings prove that China is planning an attack on the US and that one grid is similar to the layout of streets in the US capital.

The spiral pattern also appears to be peppered with military trucks and planes while another grid is 18 miles long and contains giant metallic-looking squares or holes.

275x250.jpg Animal rights campaign group PETA has launched a scathing attack on an unusual target -- the Nintendo video-game mascot Mario.

The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals say that in the latest Mario game, Super Mario 3D Land, the famous plumber appears to wear fur.

This is a reference to a magical Tanooki suit which grants the mustachioed one special powers in the game.

However it appears that even wearing digital fur is a no-no for PETA who point out that in real-life tanuki are raccoon dogs who are skinned alive for their fur.
PETA have also released a parody online game which sees ethical gamers take control of a skinned raccoon pursuing Mario.

275x250.jpg A London council has revealed a list of the strangest items residents have tried to recycle -- including sex toy and an urn containing ashes.

Bosses at Enfield Council decided to produce a list of the top 10 strangest items placed in recycling bins in a bid to highlight the recycling properly.

In addition to used nappies and tissues being placed in recycling bins, residents there also tried to recycle blow up dolls, vibrators and an urn containing ashes.

Cllr Chris Bond, said: "It beggars belief what some people have placed in their recycling."

Other items on the list include dead pets, dumb bells and oil paintings… hopefully this wasn't all from the same family.

275x250.jpg Train passengers in Yorkshire couldn't believe their ears when they were told they couldn't exit a train -- because of reports of a lion on the loose.

West Yorkshire Police had received a call from a woman driving in the village of Shepley, stating that she thought she'd seen a lion.

This prompted them to launch a 12 officer search for the beast and notify rail operators that it may not be safe for passengers to disembark at the nearby station.

National Rail Enquiries said on Twitter: "Passengers are currently unable to alight from trains at Shepley due to reports by police of a lion in the area."

However officers were unable to find the elusive lion, and because no-one had reporting their lion going missing, the two-hour operation was called off.

275x250.jpg Police in Pennsylvania say two men have been arrested after stealing a teenager's meatball sandwich at gunpoint.

The dopey duo apparently robbed a 13-year-old-boy by threatening him with a gun and telling him to empty his pockets.

But they then proceeded to take just his tasty meatball sandwich before fleeing in a nearby car.

Officers say they soon arrested the sandwich-nabbing men because the teen called 911 from his mobile… which the duo failed to take.

Police say they recovered a gun and the sandwich… it's not clear what happened to the sandwich after it was taken into police custody.

275x250.jpg A Scandinavian lingerie firm has come under fire from unions after apparently making employees wear tags displaying their breast size.

Staff at 'Change' in Sweden say they are getting fed up with dirty old men going into the store and commenting on the size their boobs.

It's claimed that workers at the store felt pressured into wearing the tags -- designed to help shoppers -- which some feel are demeaning.

However, bosses at the firm say that wearing the breast measurement tags is voluntary and that they had been introduced after being suggested by staff.

Unions say they could now sue the firm… adding that men selling underwear are not forced to wear a badge with their size.

A bride has seen her wedding video become an online hit after the cameraman caught her sending a text message during the ceremony.

Jim Costa, who shot the video back in 2008, recently posted the video to YouTube, commenting on the bride's unusual behaviour.

"It was otherwise perfectly normal except for this one funny clip of the bride TEXTING just after her dad walked her down the [aisle]!" he wrote.

"The minister was busy reading his opening comments and her back was to everyone in attendance. I was the only one to see her." That was until he uploaded it and the clip went viral.

A footballer in Romania has been punched in the head by a crazed fan who ran onto the pitch and disrupted the game.

Steaua Bucharest had just scored in their clash against Petrolul Ploiesti -- taking the score to 2-0 -- when the man invaded the pitch.

After running past security staff the man, dressed all in black, he ran behind defender George Galamaz and whacked him in the side of the head.

Other players then grabbed the man and knocked him to the ground before repeatedly kicking him -- two were sent off for their actions.

275x250.jpg A couple of years ago we made up a April Fools story that iPods get heavier with more music -- so  we approached this story with some trepidation.

But according to respected scientists from University of California, Berkeley, E-readers really do get heavier with each book. Honest.

Prof John Kubiatowicz recently claimed that holding more books on your Kindle does make it heavier -- even though each new book is only as heavy as a single molecule of DNA.

Kubiatowicz claims this is because storing new data involves holding electrons in a fixed place and take up more energy. Personally we preferred our explanation about the ratio of ones to zeros.

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