WTF: January 2011 Archives

275x250.jpg A Star Wars fan who legally changed his name to Darth Vader, has been named and shamed by a train company this week for failing to pay for his ticket.

On a recent journey, Vader was caught without a ticket by London Midlands trains. But when he gave conductors his name, they were reluctant to believe him.

After checking with British Transport Police to confirm his identity, Vader - a 41-year-old bouncer from Walsall - was prosecuted and slapped with a £376 fine.

But Vader insists he's normally a law-abiding citizen and the only reason he didn't have a ticket was because he was rushing home to his wife (Sue Vader) was having an asthma attack… yes, a Vader with a breathing problem.

275x250.jpg Cash-strapped Japanese tourists who can't afford to visit Europe themselves, have started sending their cuddly toys there on holiday instead, it's been claimed.

Bosses at 'Barcelona Toy Travel' say they've been inundated with requests from Japan to take soft toys on sight-seeing tours of the Spanish city.

The firm charges £60 to show a teddybear around Barcelona on a six-day trip and supplies owners with a selection of photos showing their beloved bear in front of various monuments.

A postcard is also sent back to the owner, followed by the well-travelled soft toy… which won't stop going on about Gaudi architecture. Don't you just hate pretentious teddy bears.

It's been more piano bar than sandbar in Miami's Biscayne Bay - after a grand piano weighing 300kg mysteriously appeared there.

No-one seems to know exactly how the instrument came to be positioned on the highest point of the sandbank some 200 yards from shore.

And because of the placement, the piano doesn't even disappear underwater during high tide (or the high Cs if you will) and seems to float above the sea.

Because it's not currently causing a 'navigational hazard' coast guard bosses say they're not responsible for removing it and will leave it in place.

Theories about how it got there include it being a leftover prop from a Kanye West video or a prank by fellows at a local music school… it all seems a but fishy to us.

275x250.jpgA hawk is on the loose in the US Library of Congress where it is said to have been flying around for the past week.

Librarians say they first spotted the literary bird flying around the public reading room on January 19th and have been keeping a close eye on her.

It's thought the young Cooper's hawk may have entered the building via an open hatch while maintenance was being carried out on the roof.

Attempts to capture the feathered intruder have so far failed - with the not so bird-brains hawk managing to swoop down and take food from a trap without getting caught.

A net has now been fitted to the library dome to prevent her descending into the main reading room… or accessing the works of Edgar Allan Poe.

275x250.jpgWebsites allow people to do more and more things online - but not this one, it challenges you to do nothing for two minutes.

Launched by Alex Tew - the man behind the Million Dollar Homepage - donothingfor2minutes.com is decidedly lacking in functionality.

Displaying an image of a sunrise over the ocean and a clock counting down from two minutes, it tells people not to touch their keyboard or mouse for two minutes.

And that's it. Tew says the site is designed to make the point about the way we spend all of our time surrounded by an unlimited supply of information.

But can you do it? Can you spend two minutes online without doing anything to get back entertainment or information in return? Silly question, of course you can… your reading Newslite.

275x250.jpg Earlier this week we told you that Paul the psychic octopus - who shot to fame by predicting World Cup results - was to be immortalised in statue form… well here it is.

The 1.8m tall statue has been installed at the Sea Life Aquarium in Oberhausen, where Paul made his predictions before his untimely death last year.

It shows a giant plastic Paul sitting on the top of a flag-laden World Cup football which contains a golden urn carrying his ashes.

Aquarium bosses say the statue was created after visitors asked for a memorial… funnily not too many bookmakers are expected to visit it and pay their respects.

A comedy writer who posted videos online asking for a billionaire to give him one million dollars says he's found a kind-hearted benefactor.

In the videos Craig Rowin - who writes for The Onion - said there was nothing in particular that he planned to do with the cash, but that it would be awesome.

He went on to list a series of millionaires and billionaire including Steven Spielberg, Lady Gaga and Susan Boyle as potential donors.

And shockingly it seems to have worked. Rowin says an anonymous billionaire known only as 'Benjamin' has offered him the money.

He now says he is due to be given a cheque on stage at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in Manhattan on February 2, and insists it's not a publicity stunt. Hmm.

275x250.jpg Everyone's favourite deceased psychic cephalopod Paul the octopus is set to have a 1.8m statue erected in his honour.

Bosses at the German aquarium he called home have announced plans to establish a "huge memorial" to the octopus which became a huge hit during the World Cup.

A spokesperson for the Sea Life Centre in Oberhausen said the 1.8m tall statue is expected to be a hit with visitors and would feature Paul on top of a football.

This would in turn house a golden urn containing Paul's ashes… meaning he didn't end up on the plate of some angry football fan.

275x250.jpg It looks like the result of a radioactive disaster, and you'd be forgiven for thinking it was populated by two-headed fish.

But Canadian officials say pranksters are to blame for this fluorescent green river and that it poses no threat to the local wildlife.

As these impressive images show the Goldstream river, which passes through the city of Langford, British Columbia was recently turned a bright green.

Experts were initially bamboozled as to what caused the colour change, but now believe it was caused by prankster with access to fluorescein… and a diary with St Patricks day in on the wrong date.


It's said more women are beginning to play video-games, but not this one -- the SEGA Toylet is very much only for men.

That's because the bizarre console is only fitted to urinals and is used by players peeing at a sensor to control the action

Toylet games consoles are currently being installed on the toilets at metro stations in Tokyo and will offer bladder-emptiers four mini-games.

As men target their pee, LCD screens above the urinal shows the games which rewards the strength, length and accuracy.

Games include ones to compete with previous 'players' to see who has the strongest flow or who can pee the longest… they undoubtedly cause many missed trains.

275x250.jpgA life-sized Dalek and a set of gold teeth worth £6,500 are just some of the odd items left in rooms by guests, a hotel chain has revealed.

Bosses at Travelodge say other bizarre things left in their rooms in 2010 include an antique rocking horse, a 4ft yam and £10,000 in cash.

After reviewing their lost and found offices staff were also surprised to find a superintendent’s ID badge, Keys to a Rolls Royce Phantom and a traffic lollipop stick.

Meanwhile the most common items left behind were mobile phones, gadgets, laptop computers, teddy bears and books.

Slightly worryingly artificial limbs were the seventh most frequently forgotten items… followed by adult toys.

275x250.jpgBosses of a pantomime staring Jim Davidson have been forced to change the costume of a nurse in the show… because the original one broke the Geneva Convention.

Producers of Pavilion Theatre were informed the outfit worn by Nurse Poltis in their Robin Hood show could see them landed in court.

The British Red Cross said the use of red crosses on her comedy hat and tunic were unauthorised use of their emblem and the theatre was in violation of the Geneva Conventions Act 1957.

Because this was also breaking the law and could see bosses face prosecution the costume was quickly changed to feature a green cross.

It sounds to us like someone at the British Red Cross has always fancied themselves as a panto villain. Oh yes they do!

275x250.jpg More than 26,000 fans of the TV series lost have won the lottery - by playing the same numbers as the character Hurley in the show.

In the series Hugo ‘Hurley’ Reyes, played by Jorge Garcia scooped $114m by playing the numbers 4,8,15,16,23 and 42.

But real-life lottery players were less lucky with the digits, they each won just $150 for matching four of the six numbers in the US Mega Millions this week.

It's said the chances of winning the $355 million Mega Millions jackpot is one in 175,711,536… about the same as having guessed what was going to happen next in Lost.

Noodling, a crazy sport where anglers use their arms as bait to catch catfish has become an internet hit.

But experts warn sticking your arms in riverbed holes and waiting for the fish to latch on with their sharp teeth is also a great way to lose a finger.

It's said some noodlers have even drowned as they tried to wrestle the huge creatures - which can weigh 30kg - to the surface of the water.

Others have been left with serious lacerations to their arms or come into contact with alligators or snakes while noodling.

Which might leave you wondering why the odd sport has become a hit… and that's before you've even watched some of the videos on YouTube.


A homeless man is seeing job offers pour in, after a YouTube video of him showing off his incredible voice became a viral hit.

Ted Williams used to work as a radio announcer, but hard times saw him jobless, homeless and holding a sign begging for cash at the side of a road in Ohio.

And that's where he was found when he recently became the subject of a viral video after a journalist noticed his sign, boasting he had a "God-given gift of a great voice".

After the exchange of a few dollars, Williams released his silky smooth FM voice saying things like: "we'll be right back with more after these words" for the camera.

Now, after gaining more than 4 million views on YouTube, the job offers are pouring in… we just wish we could get him to read Newslite stories to us at night.

275x250.jpg A busty would-be model has been proudly showing off her brand new E-cup boob job -- which she won in an online auction for just £3.90.

20-year-old Danielle Sheehan recently underwent surgery at a private clinic in Norwich after winning the chance to boost her size 34C breasts to a 34E.

The healthcare worker, who has always wanted bigger boobs, says she placed a bid on millibid.co.uk for an "ultimate ­makeover" and was shocked to win for just £3.90.

She then used the prize to have the £4,100 boob job carried out by a leading cosmetic surgeon… all for less than the price of a push-up bra.

275x250.jpg The net was as likely to catch a fish as be hit by the ball in this game. Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer have played against each other on a floating tennis court.

The duo took part in a bizarre exhibition match on the court which had been laid in the water of Doha Bay, Qatar, to promote the upcoming ATP World Tour.

And though the pair have the experience of winning 25 Grand Slam titles between them, neither had played on a surface anything like this before.

While we don't know what score the game ended at, it's not our main concern, we want to know what happened to the ball boys… or should that be ball buoys.




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