they did what?: August 2012 Archives


When 81-year-old Cecilia Giménez thought that a painting of Jesus on the wall of her local church in the Spanish city of Borja needed restoring, she decided to offer her own artistic talents.

The problem, her artistic talent knows no beginning and the well-intentioned restoration saw the mural by 19th-century artist Elías García Martínez, ruined with bodge-job brushstrokes.

Described by some as "the worst restoration in history" the painting Ecce Homo at the church of la Misericordia de Borja has been said to now look more like a "bloated hedgehog" than the image of Jesus.

Professional restorers will now inspect the image to investigate whether it is possible to bring it back to its former glory. That said, the new version has gained more publicity than the original ever did.

275x250.jpg We've seen some crazy criminal excuses here at Newslite Towers - like the burglar who told cops he was a trainee locksmith - and here's another great one.

A man in Middlesbrough reportedly told police that aliens had instructed him to go into his mother’s home and steal food to give to the homeless.

A hearing at Teesside Crown Court also heard that John Kirby had smashed into his uncle’s home before stealing aftershave and toiletries … also at the behest of aliens.

29-year-old Kirby - who had previous convictions for burglary - had left fingerprints at the scenes of the two burglaries and representing himself in court entered guilty pleas.

The judge jailed Kirby for 12 months, of which he will serve half. There's no new if the instructing aliens will face any charges.

275x250.jpg Darth Vader stood at an imposing 6ft 7in tall, weighed over 500 lbs and his cape was made out of 100 lbs of our marshmallow fondant … wait what?

After the success of her Storm Trooper cake, master baker Amanda Oakleaf has created a life-size Darth Vader cake for the 15th anniversary of Star Wars fan organization the 501st Legion.

The Dark Lord cake - which also featured a light saber made out of a solid piece of watermelon flavored poured sugar - fed 600 hungry Legion members at the event at The Rosen Centre Hotel in Orlando.

While a metal frame serves as the skeleton of the Darth Vader cake, ingredients includes 386 eggs, 2 gallons milk, 3.5 cups vanilla, 118 cups/ 32 lbs flour, 46 lbs sugar, 57 lbs butter and 210 lbs of our home-made marshmallow fondant.

In case you were wondering, the Sith Lord tasted predominantly of sponge cake and buttercream icing.

275x250.jpg An Australian man has unsurprisingly ended up in hospital after showing off with his 'fireworks between the buttocks' party trick, and it backfired.

The 23-year old had reportedly been attending a party in the Darwin suburb of Rapid Creek when he decided to show off with his party piece.

So he dropped his trousers and placed a firecracker between his buttocks before lighting it. In a shock to no-one but the man himself, he ended up with burns to his butt cheeks and privates.

Other party-goers contacted paramedic, but by the time they arrived the man had already taken himself to hospital … probably not sitting in the drivers seat.

It's understood the man was later transported to a specialist burns unit and could be fined for being in possession of fireworks beyond an approved period.

There are few competitions at the London 2012 Olympics have gained as much public interest as this battle of the thighs where cyclists Andre Greipel and Robert Forstermann compared their legs on Twitter.

The German cyclists posed for a photo which was posted to the social network showing their monster-like thighs bulging with muscles … and it quickly went viral.

In the tweet, Greg Henderson said: "You thought Greipel has a big set of legs. There was a quad off in the German camp today. Greipel lost."




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