Simon Crisp: January 2011 Archives

275x250.jpgPop. Pop. Pop. You didn't think we'd forgotten did you? To day is one of our favourite days of the year… bubble wrap appreciation day.

Yes that's right, every year on the last Monday in January, people around the world come together to celebrate the humble sheet of bubble wrap.

The tradition was started in 2001 by a couple of bored DJs on an Indiana radio station who joked about honouring the packaging material, which started out life as a wallpaper.

But since then it's caught on and thousands of people are expected to celebrate today by doing things like dressing in clothes made from coloured bubble wrap.

Obviously the more traditional way to enjoy bubble wrap appreciation day is simply to sit and pop your way through an entire roll… which is what we are off to do now.

275x250.jpgA British designer has created what's being described at the world's most expensive bed -- and at £4m it probably is.

King of bling Stuart Hughes says his 'Baldacchino Supreme'  bed is handmade and curved from the best quality ash wood.

But that's just the beginning, the fancy bed is inlaid with 107kg of 24ct gold along with small decorative applications in gold leaf detail.

Then there is the fabric, which is all the finest Italian silk, and the headboard can be customised with diamonds or other precious stones.

Stuart says the bed - which takes three months to complete - is so exclusive only two will be made… unfortunately all that gold and diamonds still won't stop your partner snoring.

275x250.jpgIt's not too often you can refer to someone who fell 1,000ft down a mountain as 'lucky' -- but Adam Potter certainly is.

The 36-year-old had been out climbing on Sgurr Choinnich Mor, five miles east of Ben Nevis, this weekend, when he lost his footing and suffered a potentially perilous  plunge.

Potter fell some 1,000ft down the 3,589ft Scottish slope, causing mountain rescue teams to fear that he could have been killed.

But when a nearby Royal Navy Sea King helicopter went to look for him, they could only see another standing near to where the accident had happened, or so they thought.

It was actually Potter, who had miraculously only suffered cuts and bruises and was stood up looking at a map, probably trying to plot the route he had fallen down.

A horse racing event in Australia had to be postponed last week, after the track was invaded by a group of kangaroos.

Due to be held on Australia Day, thousands of racing fans had turned up to watch the action at Hanging Rock Cup raceday

But just before the first event was due to take place, jockeys noticed a couple of kangaroos near to the track and officials were dispatched to shoo them off.

Despite initially leaving the track, about six kangaroos soon reappeared, jumped over a five-foot fence and began bounding around the track.

Race bosses say they eventually had to abandon the event… because it was either that or start betting on the roos.

WNWDW: Inventor creates DIY death-ray

275x250.jpgWeird News We Didn't Write: Our daily roundup of the best odd news stories from elsewhere on the web.

A young inventor claims he has used a fibreglass satellite dish and 5,800 tiny mirror tiles to created a "death-ray" which generates enough power to melt steel, vaporize aluminum and boil concrete. (Daily Mail)

The good folks at Aol Weird News look back the at the month of two-headed animals, or January 2011 as you might have called it. (Aol Weird News)

A Saudi farmer says he hopes to get a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records after selling a sheep for a record $55,000 (Emirates247) Thanks Ali... who would only ever spend $54,500 on a sheep.

A robber was caught after raiding a petrol station while wearing a mask he had bought from the same store days earlier. Police made the arrest after reviewing CCTV footage and discovering Neil Simons was the only person to have bought the Halloween mask. (Telegraph)

A gymnast has become an online star after performing an amazing dunk at a basketball game… and passing through the hoop himself. (Asylum)

It's another Weird Week with Japanese tourists sending their teddy bears of holiday, a statue celebrating a psychic octopus and muppet cupcakes.

275x250.jpg A US firm has announced plans to launch an odd range of marijuana-spiked soft drinks guaranteed to give you a buzz.

Makers says the drinks, which include a cola, a Dr Pepper–like, a lemonade and a orange flavoured one, will go on sale in February for $10 to $15 each.

Because they contain 35 to 65 milligrams of THC - the main psychoactive ingredient in cannabis - they will only be available in medical-marijuana dispensaries.

The drinks are said to only have a "mild marijuana taste"… and go great with a special sort of chocolate brownie.

275x250.jpgDrug smugglers in Mexico have tried to use a medieval-style catapult to hurl packs of marijuana over the US border.

Following a tip-off the Mexican military have seized 16 kilograms of marijuana, a sports utility vehicle and a metal-framed catapult.

Surveillance footage shot near the small town of Naco shows the gang loading and testing the catapult which is powered by powerful elastic.

It's said the catapult was mounted onto a trailer so that it could easily be transported by the drug smugglers.

Officers say the device was capable to launching two kilograms of marijuana at a time… and is the sort of idea that could only have been dreamt up while high.

275x250.jpg A Star Wars fan who legally changed his name to Darth Vader, has been named and shamed by a train company this week for failing to pay for his ticket.

On a recent journey, Vader was caught without a ticket by London Midlands trains. But when he gave conductors his name, they were reluctant to believe him.

After checking with British Transport Police to confirm his identity, Vader - a 41-year-old bouncer from Walsall - was prosecuted and slapped with a £376 fine.

But Vader insists he's normally a law-abiding citizen and the only reason he didn't have a ticket was because he was rushing home to his wife (Sue Vader) was having an asthma attack… yes, a Vader with a breathing problem.

275x250.jpgAlmost a third of Brits say they follow odd superstitious rituals more than twice a day - which means we are constantly knocking on wood and crossing our fingers.

What's more, 84% of people admit to being superstitious and will do anything from wearing lucky pants to dodging cracks on the floor to bring them luck.

Topping the list of superstitions most revered in the UK is ‘knocking on wood to keep you or someone you know safe’ (55%) followed by crossing your fingers (50%).

Other common superstitious rituals include avoiding walking under a ladder (43%) and never opening an umbrella indoors (40%).

While the rituals are often deemed old wives tales, it's actually 18-24 year olds who are said to be some of the most superstitious with 90% doing strange things.

275x250.jpgWeird News We Didn't Write: Our daily roundup of the best odd news stories from elsewhere on the web.

Fed-up with his wife constantly demanding sex, a Turkish man recently visited a police station in Germany and asked it there was anything they could do to help him. (Metro)

A Califorian inventor has come up with a new sport called Knokkers which is a bizarre cross between bowling and pool. (Aol Weird News)

A pair of PhD students from Sheffield University have launched their own space mission and recorded amazing footage from edge of space -- all for just £350. (GuVid) (Channel 4)

Measuring a massive 6ft 9in tall and weighing 36 stone, a Dutch prisoner has gone to court claiming that it is inhumane to keep him in a normal sized cell. (BBC)

A pair of men said to have scammed a Spanish property developer out of €200k have been cleared in court - because their hustle was so obviously fake no-one should have fallen for it. (Register)

Postmen are well aware of the dangers posed by dogs -- aggressive turkeys not so much. They will be soon. (Asylum

275x250.jpg A Silverback gorilla which has started walking around on his hind legs like a human has become an internet star after video of him was uploaded to YouTube.

More than 300,000 people have now watched clips of 21-year-old Ambam as he strolls around his enclosure at a zoo in Kent like it's the most normal thing in the world.

Keepers at Port Lympne Wild Animal Park say while it is not unheard of, it's certainly rare for a gorilla to walk on two legs, especially for the long distances Ambam manages.

They added it's thought he does it to gain an advantage when it comes to feeding time… we like to think it's because he wants to be a web celebrity.

275x250.jpgMale viewers can get so distracted by watching attractive newsreaders they can't even remember what the headlines were, researchers have claimed.

Academics from Indiana University say that while watching a hot female newsreader makes women remember more, it has the opposite effect on men.

In fact blokes were said to remember 'significantly' less information when watching a sexy newsreader.

The boffins claim it's because men's brains are overwhelmed when presented with sexual imagery and are therefore unable to process any more information.

I'm sorry, did somebody say something… I was too busy looking at that photo.

275x250.jpgA serving soldier who tried to make a phone-call proposal to his girlfriend, accidentally left a voicemail popping the big question on a wrong number.

Now the unintentional recipient of the emotional answer phone message, is trying to find the woman he intended to propose to, in case she doesn't know.

Diane Potts says that in the message the soldier refers to a 'Samantha' and starts off telling her about a friend of his who has been blown up.

Presumably speaking from Afghanistan, he goes on to say how much he is missing her and then asks her to marry him. Only he didn't, because Samantha didn't get the message.

Diane has now revealed the message in the hope someone will recognise the voice and get let Samantha know her clumsy-fingered boyfriend wants to marry her... let's just hope he's not out there defusing bombs.

A man who'd been arrested in Utah on suspicion of burglary tried to escape from cops by jumping out of a moving police car.

As this footage shows, Nicholas Duffy was still handcuffed as he dubiously leaped from the speeding car and onto the highway.

The 20-year-old had complained to officers that he felt like vomiting and asked them to crack the rear window open a bit for for him.

But when they did he unbuckled himself before jumping out of the window as the car travelled along Interstate 15 at 30mph.

Unsurprisingly flying head-first from a car while his hands were cuffed behind his back didn't end well… he was soon back in custody and in need of a trip to hospital.

275x250.jpgPeople are now more likely to know the names of staff at their favourite takeaway than their own neighbours, it's been discovered.

The worrying find came as part of a study of 1,271 Brits who were asked about their local community and neighbourhood businesses.

While only 16% said they could name their next door neighbours, 19% said they knew the names of staff in their local takeaway.

But it was the local newsagent who proved to be the most recognisable person in most communities, with 32% of people able to name them.

12% of people also said takeaway staff recognised them and greeted them by their first name… which is when you know you are eating too many curries.

WNWDW: Lost penguin becomes Peruvian celeb

275x250.jpgWeird News We Didn't Write: Our daily roundup of the best odd news stories from elsewhere on the web.

Tomas the penguin has become a star in South America after getting lost from his colony and ending up wandering the beaches of the Lima, the Peruvian capital. (Sky News)

A family in Texas say they were shocked to discover and image of the Virgin Mary and the Baby Jesus in a tortilla. (Aol Weird News)

There are still a small number of skyscrapers which French Spiderman Alain Robert hasn't yet scaled… the 137 metre-high Hang Seng Bank HQ in Hong Kong, isn't one of them.  (ITN)

A plastic surgeon who has been performing cosmetic surgery for 35 years will finally go under the knife himself - because he looks like William Shatner. (Asylum)

Fed up with being upstaged by an attention-seeking rodent which appeared on several news broadcasts, Bosses in Downing Street have called in a rat catcher. (Daily Mail

275x250.jpg Cash-strapped Japanese tourists who can't afford to visit Europe themselves, have started sending their cuddly toys there on holiday instead, it's been claimed.

Bosses at 'Barcelona Toy Travel' say they've been inundated with requests from Japan to take soft toys on sight-seeing tours of the Spanish city.

The firm charges £60 to show a teddybear around Barcelona on a six-day trip and supplies owners with a selection of photos showing their beloved bear in front of various monuments.

A postcard is also sent back to the owner, followed by the well-travelled soft toy… which won't stop going on about Gaudi architecture. Don't you just hate pretentious teddy bears.

It's been more piano bar than sandbar in Miami's Biscayne Bay - after a grand piano weighing 300kg mysteriously appeared there.

No-one seems to know exactly how the instrument came to be positioned on the highest point of the sandbank some 200 yards from shore.

And because of the placement, the piano doesn't even disappear underwater during high tide (or the high Cs if you will) and seems to float above the sea.

Because it's not currently causing a 'navigational hazard' coast guard bosses say they're not responsible for removing it and will leave it in place.

Theories about how it got there include it being a leftover prop from a Kanye West video or a prank by fellows at a local music school… it all seems a but fishy to us.

tea bathDuring their working life the average Brit will drink enough cups of tea at the office to fill a whopping 60 bath tubs.

Research found the typical office worker sups four cups of tea each day - that's 20 cups per week at work and 1,040 cups a year.

Given the average person works in full-time employment from the age of 18 to 64 that 47,840 cups of tea.

With the average mug holding 250ml of liquid; this would equate to 11,960 litres of tea or coffee consumed in a life time whilst at work. Or, you guessed it, 60 bath tubs.

Personally we're now in need of a nice warm cuppa while we try to digest all those numbers and ponder when 'bath tubs' became a universal measurement of fluids.

He'd already suffered an injury and needed to be stretchered off - so this footballer probably didn't think it could get any worse.

Boy was he wrong. Gladstony had picked up an injury during a Sao Paulo Youth Cup match between Desportivo Brasil and Flamengo.

But as he was loaded onto a stretcher to be whisked off the pitch, the stretcher bearer accidentally dropped the 17-year-old and fell backwards.

After picking himself up from sitting on the face of the injured player, he gave it another go, before falling back to reinstate the ass-face blunder.

Desportivo went on to lose the match in a penalty shoot-out… not that that's what Gladstony will remember the game for.

275x250.jpgResearchers have discovered what parents have known for years - youngsters would rather watch TV or play computer games than go outside.

A study of 1,000 parents and 500 children found that most devote almost all their spare time to staring at screens rather than going outdoors.

Described as the 'Indoor Generation' it's said children actually spend twice as much leisure time indoors compared to being outside.

Asked what they enjoy doing most, children opted for going to the cinema, playing computer games and going online.

Bizarrely 70% of the parents quizzed said they thought the reason their kids stayed inside was bad weather… not that computer games are just much better now.

275x250.jpgWeird News We Didn't Write: Our daily roundup of the best odd news stories from elsewhere on the web.

A US firm say they have scored a bizarre hit after launching a weird range of meat flavoured water including tastes like 'cheeseburger' and Italian sausage. (Aol Weird News)

Researchers say a polar bear was forced to swim continuously for nine days and cover 426 miles in a desperate bid to reach new ice floes. (CBS News)

The body of a popular Italian TV quizmaster who hosted a top show for 50 years and died is 2009 has been snatched from his grave. (STV)

We don't know too much about this video other than this is not the ideal start to a BMX race - all eight rider fell as the barrier refused to drop. (GuVid) (The Sun)

A 76-year-old pensioner say he drove his car into a church… because his sat-nav told him to. (Metro) Cheers Tom… it's better than the devil telling him to. (Metro)  

275x250.jpgA hawk is on the loose in the US Library of Congress where it is said to have been flying around for the past week.

Librarians say they first spotted the literary bird flying around the public reading room on January 19th and have been keeping a close eye on her.

It's thought the young Cooper's hawk may have entered the building via an open hatch while maintenance was being carried out on the roof.

Attempts to capture the feathered intruder have so far failed - with the not so bird-brains hawk managing to swoop down and take food from a trap without getting caught.

A net has now been fitted to the library dome to prevent her descending into the main reading room… or accessing the works of Edgar Allan Poe.

For most people the idea of riding 30ft waves off Maui is extreme enough, but not surfer Mark Visser - he did it at night.

Wearing LED lights so that his exploits could be caught on camera, the Australian was towed out by a jet ski to a notorious Hawaii surf spot known as Jaws.

There the big-wave riding 28-year-old waited to catch a monster 30ft swell which he rode for about 20 seconds, later saying it was the 'most exciting thing' he'd ever done.

He added that because it was so dark, he didn't realised quite how big the wave was… probably a good thing judging by this footage.

275x250.jpgThere are going to be some pretty glum-looking vampire fans today* -- after Twilight Eclipse was nominated for a load of Razzie Awards.

Along with action fantasy The Last Airbender, the vampire click has the dubious honour of scooping nine Golden Raspberry Award nominations.

It is nominated in all categories with the exception of Worst Supporting Actress and Worst Eye-Gouging Mis-Use of 3-D, which it was not eligible for.

And undead Razzie nominations do not end there, The Twilight parody "Vampires Suck" is also nominated for Worst Picture, Worst Director and Worst Screenplay.

* When we say pretty glum-looking vampire fans, we obviously mean even more glum-loooking that usual.

275x250.jpgWebsites allow people to do more and more things online - but not this one, it challenges you to do nothing for two minutes.

Launched by Alex Tew - the man behind the Million Dollar Homepage - is decidedly lacking in functionality.

Displaying an image of a sunrise over the ocean and a clock counting down from two minutes, it tells people not to touch their keyboard or mouse for two minutes.

And that's it. Tew says the site is designed to make the point about the way we spend all of our time surrounded by an unlimited supply of information.

But can you do it? Can you spend two minutes online without doing anything to get back entertainment or information in return? Silly question, of course you can… your reading Newslite.

275x250.jpgThe average couple will argue with each other a whopping 312 times a year - mostly over cleanliness, it's been found.

Researchers discovered stubble in the sink, dirty marks in the toilet and taking too long to get ready are regular triggers for bust-ups.

Other reasons for relationship fights include flicking through TV channels and not replacing an empty toilet roll.

It was also found couples are most likely to fall-out after dinner on a Thursday evening with everything kicking off at just before 8pm.

The average fight also lasts just 10 minutes… but with 312 each year, the next one is never too long away.

275x250.jpgWeird News We Didn't Write: Our daily roundup of the best odd news stories from elsewhere on the web.

A German man has won a new MINI Cooper after having the word 'MINI' tattooed on his manhood. The 39-year-old had entered a contest to see who would do the craziest stunt to win the car. (Austrian Times)

Indonesian rice farmers say they were shocked over the weekend, when they discovered a massive crop circle in one of their fields. (Aol Weird News)

Frank Neuhaeuser was enjoying a night in front of the TV when a police car chase ended with a man driving into the wall outside his house and ploughing through the living room wall. (NDTV) (YouTube)

Taiwan is said to be experimenting with a novel way to deal with the smell and excessive water use on pig farms… training the pigs to use a toilet. (Reuters)

A man from Canada says he has spent £16,000 taking his six sex dolls on trips around England and America. Dave Hockey says his wife "doesn't mind". (The Sun)

275x250.jpgA council has been branded 'eerie' after announcing controversial plans to heat a swimming pool using energy created from a near-by crematorium.

Redditch Council had planned to use heat generated by Redditch Crematorium to heat the near-by Abbey Stadium pool and sports centre, saving them around £14,500-a-year.

They say the heat lost when gas within the cremator is cooled down, could be easily transferred to the neighbouring sports complex, cutting CO2 emissions and generally being more eco-friendly.

But some locals say they're not comfortable with the idea and wouldn't swim in a pool heated thanks to the death of a loved one… even if they wore black swimming costumes as a sign of respect.

275x250.jpg A case of century-old whisky which was buried under Antarctic ice by polar explorer Ernest Shackleton has been flown to Scotland in a private jet.

Last year five case of the forgotten McKinlay spirit were found under an Antarctic hut and taken to a museum in New Zealand to be slowly thawed.

Now, one of those cases has been taken to Scotland distillers Whyte and Mackay - which owns the McKinlay brand - who will test the tipple in full laboratory conditions.

Because the bottles are so rare and valuable, they were flown there on the private jet of owner Dr Vijay Mallya accompanied by Master Blender Richard Paterson… who hopefully resisted having a glass en-route.

275x250.jpgIf you are reading this from Railway Hill in Barham, Kent, we hope it was worth the wait -- because you have the slowest broadband in the UK.

Research has found the average download speed there is a paltry 0.13Mb - meaning loading basic page can take ages while streaming video is out of the question.

While the average broadband speed for the UK is 6.21Mb, almost 50 times faster, Railway Hill is not the only place to suffer slow connections.

Other places pages where it will take longer to load include Tewkesbury Road in Clacton-on-Sea, Essex and Derwent Avenue, Hertfordshire.

With a download speed of 0.13Mb it would take 48 hours to download a movie… which must be good news for the local movie rental store in Railway Hill.

275x250.jpgA man who filmed a video of himself lying down on railway track as a train passed over him has unsurprisingly been branded stupid.

In the video which was uploaded to YouTube, the man can be seen lying down in the middle of a track with his camera in from of him.

He then lies motionless as a train approaches and with a horn blaring and screeching brakes, passes over him.

Once clear the idiot looks behind him before grabbing his camera and running off, presumably to upload the footage to the internet.

A spokesperson for Network Rail branded the stunt as "stupidity in the extreme"… which we think is still an understatement.

Tennis courts come in a variety of different surface types, but one thing they have in common is that when a ball hits them, it bounces… or at least that's the theory.

But that wasn't the case at the Australian Open recently, when Maria Sharapova found a dead-spot on one of the courts.

The Russian ace says that as she was warming-up ahead of her third round clash with Goerges, she felt a noticeably bouncy spot on the court.

When umpires checked it out they discovered a heat bubble under the surface of the court which caused balls to seemingly defy the laws of physics land flatly rather than bounce.

Workers solved the problem by drilling a series of small holes in the court to release the trapped air… but not before this great video was filmed.

WNWDW: THIS is the greatest ever golf shot

275x250.jpgWeird News We Didn't Write: Our daily roundup of the best odd news stories from elsewhere on the web.

You might think the greatest golf shot of all time happened in a major tournament. But you'd be wrong. A man made an amazing off-a-wall putt when a fountain lifted his ball up up from a water hazard. (GuVid)

A bizarre range of underwear has gone on sale specifically designed for flat-bottomed man who want a bigger bum. (Aol Weird News)

When Gail Davis received a phone call from Apple telling her she'd won a a $10,000 gift card for downloading the 10 billionth app she thought it was a prank and hung up on them. (CNet)

Randy frogs have been blamed for leaving hundreds of people in New Zealand without broadband access and phone calls after getting into a roadside cabinet. (Stuff) Cheers David.

A 13-year-old Norwegian schoolboy says he used a song by the heavy metal band Creed to scare off a pack of four wolves by playing the track on the speaking in his mobile phone. (Spiegel)

This looks perfect if you can't decide whether you want to go bowling or play a game of pool. (Daily Mail)

275x250.jpg A bizarre hotel with walls made from bits of 'tourism junk' has opened in Madrid… and it's not as rubbish as you might think.

The 'Save the Beach Hotel' is the creation of German artist Ha Schult and is constructed from rubbish found on beaches and bought at European flea markets.

Dubbed the 'Garbage Hotel' it's designed to be a physical eco-statement about the massive amount of waste generated by mass tourism and consists of five rooms.

Walls are made from items including bottles, waste plastics, books and rubber tyres… which still sounds better than some of the hotels I've stayed in.

An irate basketball fan who tried to fight with the mascot of the rival team has been left red-faced after being publicly floored by the bear.

It all started when the cheeky Utah Jazz mascot held a giant sign saying "I'm A Loser" behind the fan and started pointing at him.

This angered the Cleveland Cavaliers fan, who turned around and punched the giant bear -- earning himself the privilege of being escorted out of the stadium by security guards.

But as he was being led away, the unruly fan decided he wanted another piece of the mascot and charged towards him, now in the centre of the court.

However, the surprisingly hard mascot was prepared, and as the man lunged at him, he shoulder-barged him to the floor… before celebrating like he'd just scored a last second game-winning basket.

275x250.jpg A pair of baking sisters have scored an online hit by creating an amazing range of cupcakes based on Jim Henson's Muppets.

Mandy and Caroline - the people behind Cupcake Occasions - say they were initially commissioned to create the brightly coloured cakes for a wedding last year.

But the resulting cupcake incarnations of characters including Kermit, Miss Piggy and Animal were so impressive images of then went on to become an online hit.

The cakes take all day to produce a box of 12 and sell for £5 each. Apparently they taste as good as they look, but be honest… you would want to spoil them by biting into them would you?

275x250.jpg Earlier this week we told you that Paul the psychic octopus - who shot to fame by predicting World Cup results - was to be immortalised in statue form… well here it is.

The 1.8m tall statue has been installed at the Sea Life Aquarium in Oberhausen, where Paul made his predictions before his untimely death last year.

It shows a giant plastic Paul sitting on the top of a flag-laden World Cup football which contains a golden urn carrying his ashes.

Aquarium bosses say the statue was created after visitors asked for a memorial… funnily not too many bookmakers are expected to visit it and pay their respects.

L-cup bra released for big-boobed women

275x250.jpgA company which specialises in making underwear for women with big boobs have launched the first L-cup sized bra.

Bravissimo say their super-sized L-cup bra has been developed because generously-endowed women can often struggle finding comfortable lingerie.

Apparently, devising a bra which offered the right level of support for L-cup breasts was so difficult it took 18 months to perfect.

It was added that 80% of women in the UK are currently wearing the wrong size bra and that the average woman has size 34E breasts.

It's not known what percentage of women require an L-cup bra… but if someone wants an investigative study conducting, you know where to find us.

275x250.jpg Shhh! Don't tell the boss, but we will soon be installing one of these lunchtime-stretching clocks in Newslite Towers.

The 'Lunchtime Clock' uses a clever bit of technology to extend your lunch hour by 12 minutes each day - that an extra hour every week.

Every time the clock gets to 11 o'clock it speeds up by 20%, until it says 12 o'clock (really 11.48). Over the next 72 minutes it slows down.

So at 1pm the clock is back to normal and you've managed to sneak an extra 12 minutes away from your desk… unless your boss also wears a watch.

A comedy writer who posted videos online asking for a billionaire to give him one million dollars says he's found a kind-hearted benefactor.

In the videos Craig Rowin - who writes for The Onion - said there was nothing in particular that he planned to do with the cash, but that it would be awesome.

He went on to list a series of millionaires and billionaire including Steven Spielberg, Lady Gaga and Susan Boyle as potential donors.

And shockingly it seems to have worked. Rowin says an anonymous billionaire known only as 'Benjamin' has offered him the money.

He now says he is due to be given a cheque on stage at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in Manhattan on February 2, and insists it's not a publicity stunt. Hmm.

275x250.jpgWeird News We Didn't Write: Our daily roundup of the best odd news stories from elsewhere on the web.

A crocodile at a Ukrainian zoo is set to undergo an operation after swallowing a mobile phone which was accidentally dropped into her enclosure. (GuVid)

Video gamers have set a new marathon record after playing Little Big Planet 2 on the Sony PlayStation for more then 50 hours. (Aol Weird News)

A live chicken was filmed being thrown through the window of a KFC restaurant in Warwickshire. RSPCA inspectors now want to speak to the men involved. (GuVid) (BBC)

A university student in Canada has worn the same pair of jeans for 15 months without washing them - in the name of science. (UPI)

Violence has erupted at a ride-on lawn mower race in Queensland (Stuff) Cheers David… who wants to fight whenever he's asked to mow the lawn.

275x250.jpg An artist who specialises in creating LEGO based artworks has created a life-size statue of Conan O'Brien - for some reason.

Nathan Sawaya - whose works can sell for £10,000 each - says he was commissioned to make the brick-based talk show host, but won't say by who, or why.

Complete with orange hair and beard, LEGO Conan is wearing a power suit, shirt and tie, and stands with his hands on his hips.

Sawaya has more than 1.5 million Lego bricks in his New York studio and says he can use 150,000 in any one artwork… but not normally this much orange.

275x250.jpgA duo who were secretly filmed by police 'car surfing' in a Sussex car park have been banned from driving.

CCTV footage shows the daredevil pair driving around the car park at speed as other people cling onto the roof of their cars.

The 21 and 17-year-olds are seen completing several laps of the car park in the dangerous stunt which police say "could have ended very differently."

Luckily no-one was hurt. But both men have been banned from getting back behind the wheel for 12 months after admitting dangerous driving.

The younger driver had only passed his test two months before being caught by the police… obviously the question of whether it was legal to transport people on top of your car hadn't come up.

275x250.jpgScientists say drinking a coffee and taking an aspirin in the best form of hangover cure… at least in rats.

The team from Thomas Jefferson University in Philadelphia started off by inducing headaches in the rats by using small amounts of ethanol.

They then used varying doses of caffeine and anti-inflammatories to cure the rodent hangover.

Professor Michael Oshinsky said that the caffeine intake didn't cause dehydration, which is the reason many people say coffee shouldn't be used as a hangover cure.

However, we're not sure how reliable this study is, after-all it doesn't even look like the boffins tried giving the rats a Bloody Mary or a bacon sandwich.

275x250.jpg A Tory MP has apologised after interrupting himself in the Commons by accidentally triggering a musical tie he was wearing.

Nadhim Zahawi was speaking about education cuts when the tune started blaring out of his brightly coloured neck tie, which also features flashing lights.

To make matters worse, the muffled sound from the £10 Beating Bowel Cancer 'Loud Tie' was picked up by a microphone hanging in front of him.

After a few seconds on fumbling, the Stratford upon Avon MP was able to silence his tie and apologised to the deputy speaker like a naughty schoolboy.

275x250.jpgWeird News We Didn't Write: Our daily roundup of the best odd news stories from elsewhere on the web.

A US man says he hopes to cash in after creating a money-scented perfume and cologne which he claims will help make the people wearing them rich. (Aol Weird News)

The Ricky Gervais Golden Globes saga has been given the Taiwanese news animation experience in which he is confronted by Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt and attacked by a sex toy-wielding Hugh Hefner. (GuVid) (The Sun)

A group of very dumb crooks accidentally snorted the cremated remains of a man and two dogs because they thought they had stolen illegal drugs. (Asylum)

An armed robber tried to hold up a US store by indicating he had a handgun and demanding cash -- but then the cashier produced a samurai sword from under the counter and chased him out. (WTOC)

A monk was stopped at the airport when he told authorities he had the skeleton of a dead nun in his suitcase, and he had. (Mirror)

275x250.jpg Computer game characters have escaped from their digital worlds and are running amok in real-life - at least they are in the imagination of Aled Lewis.

The graphic designer from London has created a great series of images showing video-game characters invading our world.

He uses photographs and then adds pixel-based characters, such as the Mario  rival Bowser zipping along a beach in his MarioKart vehicle or Honda from Street Fighter smashing a car.

Aled hopes the images will make people think about whether video games are  a distraction from real life… and not just make people want to dig out their old SNES.

275x250.jpgA carrier pigeon which was being used to smuggle drugs into a prison in Colombia has been captured by police.

Officers say the bird was apprehended as it tried to fly into a prison in Bucaramanga carrying a package of marijuana and cocaine.

However, it was only discovered because the bird-brains crooks behind the plan had overloaded the bird with drugs to the point that it could no longer fly.

Police say the messenger pigeon was found trying to fly over prison fences but couldn't manage it because of the excess weight of the 45g package tied to its back.

It's not the first time Colombian drug gangs have used feathered accomplices, last year police found a parrot being used as a lookout. Leaving us wondering whether Big Bird might be a drug lord.

275x250.jpgMany Brits would rather sit in a restaurant and eat a substandard meal or receive poor quality service than complain, it's been found.

A recent survey of 1,000 diners discovered that around two thirds of us have been served a meal of such dubious quality we can remember how bad it was.

But of those, just half said they've actually told restaurant staff how bad the food really is - many are worried about upsetting the chef.

Being served up cold food is said to be the most common gripe amongst restaurant-goers, followed by poor service. Other complaints include bad wine and badly cooked meat.

Yet despite this, most diners suffer in silence when given a dodgy meal -- and even answer a waiter with, "Yes, it good" while preparing to spit food back out into a napkin.

275x250.jpg Is this a foul-mouthed toy singing profanity-filled songs to toddlers -- or are over protective parents hearing swear words where there aren't any? You decide.

A mother says she was left shocked when a cuddly toy which she had bought for her baby daughter started singing a song littered with the F-word.

It's claimed the innocent-looking My Pal Violet toy sings: "If you're happy and you know it f*** with me, if you're happy and you know it f**k with me."

But makers insist it is actually singing: "If you're happy and you know it bark with me" and that there might be a misunderstanding in the UK due to the American accent. Listen to the clip after the link and tell us what you think. Unfortunately we hear bark.

A man has surprised his air stewardess girlfriend by booking onto a flight she was working... and using the intercom to publicly ask her to marry him.

Joao Vieira also had a video-camera there to record the moment he used the microphone to ask 29-year-old Vera Silva for her hand in marriage.

It all happened on what the Portuguese air stewardess assumed would be a routine flight from Lisbon to Barcelona - little did she know her bloke had been working with her colleagues to plan the stunt.

So after sneaking Vieira onto the flight, cabin crew gave him the intercom microphone to pop the question.

After hearing her say yes, passengers cheered… and then cheekily asked if there would be complimentary Champagne on the flight to celebrate.

275x250.jpgWeird News We Didn't Write: Our daily roundup of the best odd news stories from elsewhere on the web.

Police in Germany have detained a paralytic owl which they say was found at the side of the road after drinking too much from two discarded Schnapps bottles. Officers say the bird will be release when it sobers up. (Spiegel)

A wheelchair user and carer were sent flying after trying to use a steeply inclined travelator ina Chinese department store. The carer clung onto the back of the wheelchair as it careered downwards. (GuVid) (NDTV)

If you can't understand a word rappers are going on about help could be on it's way, analytic hip-hop experts are offering translations and interpretations. (Aol Weird News)

Superhero fan says he spent six years learning ancient Ninja warrior skills so that he could fight crime himself. (Metro)

Boffins think we have gone long enough without a Wooly Mammouth and are now ready to start cloning them. It's said the hairy beasts could be with us within four years. (We Interrupt)

275x250.jpg A dog had to be rescued after becoming sandwiched in a six inch gap between two walls in the US, after it tried to chase a rabbit down the narrow passageway.

Animal rescue workers had been called out when residents in California heard strange noises coming from a space between two buildings.

When they got there, they found a dog wedged in the tiny six-inch space between two 6ft tall walls, and they say it's thought he became stuck after trying to chase a rabbit.

Because there was so little space, the only way to release the dehydrated Shar-Pei mix was to knock down one of the walls, but not before rescuers decided he should be called Wally.

275x250.jpgAdverts staring the twirly moustached GoCompare opera singer have for the second year running seen being named as the most irritating.

A survey of 1,000 British TV viewers found that 59 percent of us find tubby 'Gio Compario' annoying whenever he pops up between shows.

That's even more than the 48% who find the annoyingly catchy jingle from irritating, and the 42% irked by the ads featuring ex-Bill star Billy Murray.

Other adverts making it into the Top 10 most hated ads of 2010 from Marketing Magazine, included Cheryl Cole for L'Oreal Elvive and the faux radio station advertisements from Halifax.

Keep reading to see the full horror of the top 10… and don't blame us if you start humming the annoying jingles after watching them all.

275x250.jpgA third of women say they wouldn't dare leave the house without make-up on, a study has revealed.

Researchers found that around eight million women in Britain don't feel confident enough in their appearance to venture out without their war paint.

The study also found six out of ten women wear make-up every day regardless of what they're doing, where they're going or who they're seeing.

One in three said they always put make-up on before going to the shops, even if they are only popping out to get a few bits and pieces.

Shockingly one-in-ten women said they never let their boyfriend see them with no make-up and even sleep with a full face on… just like evil clowns.

275x250.jpg Everyone's favourite deceased psychic cephalopod Paul the octopus is set to have a 1.8m statue erected in his honour.

Bosses at the German aquarium he called home have announced plans to establish a "huge memorial" to the octopus which became a huge hit during the World Cup.

A spokesperson for the Sea Life Centre in Oberhausen said the 1.8m tall statue is expected to be a hit with visitors and would feature Paul on top of a football.

This would in turn house a golden urn containing Paul's ashes… meaning he didn't end up on the plate of some angry football fan.

275x250.jpgWeird News We Didn't Write: Our daily roundup of the best odd news stories from elsewhere on the web.

A couple had to be rescued in Australia after getting into trouble while floating down a river on inflatable dolls. As you do. (Courier Mail)

Lacrosse fans were left shocked when the half-time entertainment at a recent game turned out to involve three scantily-clad performers giving the team mascot a lap dance. (GuVid) (Daily Mail)

An inventor has created a waterproof notepad which is designed to be used in the shower. We wonder where he was when he came up with that idea. (Aol Weird News)

A Polish tennis player was left staring at her hands during an Australian Open match, when the head of her racquet flew off. (Asylum)

A German bank clerk was left red-faced after failing to notice a fake £20 banknote, featuring the face of Elvis and issued by the 'Bank of Presley' was not legal currency. (Daily Mail)

275x250.jpgExperts say the rise and fall of the Roman empire could be linked to climate change and is recorded in the growth rings of trees.

Researchers looking at 9,000 wood samples noticed growth trends over the past 2,500 years which they say were caused by climate change.

While rings are farther apart when water and nutrients are plentiful, they grow tighter during unfavourable weather conditions.

The boffins claim this can now be used to determine the weather at different points in history. For example, it's said the Roman empire prospered during a period of wet and warm summers.

And slightly worryingly, it's thought increased climate variability many have then contributed to the downfall of the civilisation… but so could their wearing of socks and sandals.

275x250.jpg A robot uprising has begun and our future mechanical overlords seem to have decided the first stage in their domination should be beating us on TV quiz shows.

In February a robot from IBM called 'Watson' will begin competing against former champions on US TV quiz show Jeopardy to win $1 million.

And looking at this practice round (below) it's only going to end in one way. Supercomputer Watson - represented at the podium by a monitor - was easily able to answer most questions faster than its human rivals.

Experts say they spent four years building the system which rivals a human’s ability to answer questions posed in natural language with speed, accuracy and confidence… but apparently not teaching it about 'Children’s Book Authors'. 

275x250.jpgIf you're feeling depressed this afternoon, the chances are you're not the only one -- today is Blue Monday, the most depressing day of year.

'Scientists' claim Blue Monday, celebrated since 2005, is depressing because of a combination of poor weather, the post-Christmas blues and mounting debt.

Other factors said to make us so glum on this day compared to others include failing new year resolutions and low motivational levels.

But while there's even an equation to prove just how depressing the day is, many claim it's dodgy pseudo-science devised by a PR person for SKY Travel.

As a result they get even more depressed on this day when they see news reports about the impact of Blue Monday… making it almost true.

275x250.jpg There's a rat in Downing Street. No, Newslite isn't revealing our political beliefs, we're just describing what was recently seen on a BBC News report.

During a report on Sunday evening by political correspondent Gary O'Donoghue, a rat was seen scampering across the steps of Number 10 Downing Street.

As O'Donoghue talked about Government plans for NHS reform the uninvited visitor ran from right to left across the steps, pausing briefly before disappearing.
It's been three years since Downing Street had a 'Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office' and political pundits are almost certainly on tenterhooks to see if the Prime Minister appoints a new one.

WNWDW: Cat called up to do jury service

275x250.jpgWeird News We Didn't Write: Our daily roundup of the best odd news stories from elsewhere on the web.

A Boston cat has been called to complete jury service after his owner named him on a census in a question about pet ownership. (CBC)

The driver of a snow plough truck had a shock as he cleared snow in the US - he fell through the upper level of a two-storey car park. He escaped without injury - but the moment was captured on CCTV. (GuVid) (The Sun)

A man who had a hair transplant 19 years ago says he's only just discovered the doctor etched the word W****R into he head during the operation. (SWNS)

A refurbished vacuum cleaner which was given as a Christmas present was filled with $280k worth of crystal methamphetamine and cocaine, say police. (Aol Weird News)

Oops. A woman who was distracted by a text message as she walked through a US shopping mall took an unexpected dip when she fell into a fountain. (Asylum)

275x250.jpg A yacht has been designed to create a floating version of the streets of Monaco - complete with casino and racetrack.

The scaled-down landmarks would feature on the deck of the 500ft long ‘The Streets of Monaco’ yacht which would cater for 16 guests and 70 crew.

There's also swimming pools, tennis courts and other Monaco favourites like a Hotel de Paris, Cafe de Paris, La Rascasse and Loews Hotel.

If there are any multi-billionaire Newslite readers out there (you know our normal demographic) it's worth noting the yacht will cost around £700 million to buy. 

275x250.jpg A US woman has created a 14ft long replica of Leonardo da Vinci's 'The Last Supper'… using lint from her tumble drier. Really.

Michigan-based artist Laura Bell says she had to do almost 800 hours of laundry to create enough lint for the reproduction of the masterpiece, and spent another 200 hours putting it together.

She began the seven-month project to compete in 'ArtPrize 2010' and says she was inspired to produce the 14-foot-long, 4-foot tall work after seeing other lint-based art-works.

To get the right colours, Bell bought towels in the colours that she wanted to use and then washed and dried them separately because laundromat lint isn't a suitable art medium. We're sorry if you think this it too much of a fluff piece.

275x250.jpgSeven out of ten Brits in relationships claim they are often too tired to have sex, a study has revealed.

Busy social lives and heavy work schedules are said to leave most adults too exhausted to enjoy intimate moments

A survey of 3,000 people found that in the last month more than one in two people have turned down their partner's advances because they were worn out.

One-in-five have said 'no' this week and two thirds admitted they only have time and energy to make love at the weekend.

It was also found more than half will automatically say no after a certain time of night… so you'd better make you advance earlier next time.

275x250.jpgWeird News We Didn't Write: Our daily roundup of the best odd news stories from elsewhere on the web.

We've all fallen asleep on the tube, luckily the worst thing which has happened to us was missing our stop. This guy wasn't so lucky, he was woken up by a rat running onto his face. (GuVid) (MSNBC)

A wounded fox fought back against a would-be hunter in Belarus and shot the man in the leg with the hunters rifle as the pair scuffled. (Asylum)

A US man who claims a rat bit his penis while in a jail has been told by a judge he can sue county officials. (BBC)

German firms now have the right to force female workers to wear bras to work after a court ruling in the case of airport security workers who challenged an employee dress code. (Metro)

A dog is not only a woman's best friend - it's also her housekeeper and personal shopper. (Aol Weird News)

275x250.jpg A movie and LEGO fan has combined his interests and spent hours recreating iconic scenes from famous movies using nothing but LEGO bricks.

The result are a host of striking photographs which have unsurprisingly gone on to become an online sensations.

22-year-old film student Alex Eylar from California says he started collecting LEGO when he was about five years old and now has around 30,000 pieces.

He can take several days to perfect the poses, background and lighting for the pictures, but we think it's worth it. Can you identify all the movies shown below?

275x250.jpgBelgium is about to get a lot hairier if actor Benoit Poelvoorde has his way -- he's asked men not to shave, for their country.

The star of Man Bites Dog (below) made a TV appeal for Belgian men to grow beards until Belgium finally forms a government.

Since inconclusive elections in June last year Belgium has been run by a caretaker government and splits remain between parties from the Dutch-speaking north and French-speaking south.

"We have decided to stop shaving for as long as Belgium has no government. Let's keep our beards until Belgium rises again," Poelvoorde recently said on TV.

It's not known how many Belgian man will grow beards in a sign of political solidarity… or indeed what similar-minded women will leave un-trimmed.

275x250.jpgIf you're going to do public relations for a PR firm, you need to do something pretty special... like write the most amazing press release ever written.

Which is exactly what Mitch Delaplane did recently on behalf of PitchPoint PR in Chicago - he even entitled it 'The most amazing press release ever written'.

What followed was a 347-word press release all about how good the very same press release was, how well it was written and what impact it would have on readers.

In the release Mitch wrote: "The title alone grabs you and demands that it be read. Then there's this quote that completely takes things to an entirely new level."

As people who receive a lot of press releases every day we have to agree with Mitch that this one is something special, in fact it's so good you can see it in its entirety below.

275x250.jpg The inventor of an iPhone-controlled fridge which shoots cans of beer across a room from a CANNON says he now never needs to leave the sofa when he wants a brew.

25-year-old technology consultant Ryan Rusnak came up with the gadget because he was fed up with having to walk to the fridge every time he wanted a drink.

Working with a pal he turned a fridge in a basic vending machine which dropped chilled beers -- and then added a compressed air cannon, web server and iPhone interface.

Now when he wants a beer, he uses his phone to log into the fridge, picks what sort of beer he wants and fires it over to where he is sitting. Basically, he's created the worlds best ever invention.

275x250.jpgBrits waste a staggering £37 MILLION a year - on things like gym memberships, exercise and slimming classes they never attend, it's been found.
Research revealed forgotten direct debits which still deduct cash months after the diet fell by the wayside leaves the average adult with a £303 dent in their finances.
The most common wastes of cash were found to be gym memberships and slimming clubs which are frequently signed up for at the start of the year, but soon ignored.

Another £158 is forked out on sports equipment which is used only a handful of times and there are also subscriptions to unread magazines and CD and music downloads which never get played.

In total it was found most people waste £1,213 a year on unused items and subscriptions… which reminds me, I really should pop to the gym.

WNWDW: Runaway armoured car smashes garage

275x250.jpgWeird News We Didn't Write: Our daily roundup of the best odd news stories from elsewhere on the web.

We've all seen the devastation which can be caused by cars crashing into buildings. But those are mostly normal cars, you should see the damage a runaway armoured car can do. (ITN)

They say a good engine is meant to purr, but not like this. A New Zealand man says he was shocked when he pulled over to investigate a strange noise coming from his car and found it was a kitten tucked into the wheel arch. (Stuff)

An eight-year-old boy had to be rescued by firefighters after getting his tongue stuck to a frozen signpost when his older brother dared him to lick it. (Aol Weird News)

Cheating on your partner is just plain wrong, but if a moral argument isn't enough to stop you, how about this? A jealous woman who suspected her boyfriend of cheating on her is said to have taken her revenge by setting fire to his genitals. (Daily Mail)

A flock of birds which were found dead in Romania had apparently drunk themselves to death say experts. The starlings are said to have eaten the grapes left over from the wine-making process. (Herald Sun)

275x250.jpg Astronomers have revealed what is said to be the most detailed map of the universe ever created - stitched together from seven million images.

The resulting image - which is made from more than a trillion pixels - is so big it would take 500,000 HD televisions to be fully displayed.

While the picture has been released toady by the Sloan Digital Sky Survey-III, it was originally started in 1998 using a 138-megapixel imaging detector.

Since then astronomers have been scanning the sky to help identify and describe nearly half a billion stars and galaxies.

An plucky squirrel had to be rescued by zoo staff after finding its way into a tiger enclosure.

The adventurous critter had somehow got into the enclosure at Buffalo Zoo and it didn't take long for him to be spotted.

After briefly being chased around, the scared squirrel jumped up a tree but was promptly shaken out by a tiger, keen to display his hunting skills.

Footage shows that as keepers were alerted, the confused-looking tiger then chased the squirrel into another tree and even held it in its jaws before letting it go.

Luckily for the squirrel, staff were able to distract the tiger and remove it before releasing it somewhere a little safer… well couldn't find anywhere more dangerous.

275x250.jpgArchaeologists say they have discovered the world's oldest winery… inside an Armenian cave.

The 6,000-year-old distillery was uncovered near the Iranian border and included a wine press, a clay vat, withered grape vines and a cup.

Boffins say it was only in such a good condition because the ceiling of the cave had collapsed preserving the find under a layer of rock.

It's said to prove the manufacturing of wine is at least 1,000 years older than previously identified, though no actual wine was found.

Experts added the complete wine production facility would have only been used to produce drinks for ceremonial purposes, rather than a daily tipple. Which seems a waste.

US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has been left red-faced after falling to the floor as she boarded a plane in Yemen.

Clinton had been visiting Yemen to talk about security issues and the growing al-Qaeda threat in the country when the blunder happened.

After climbing the stairs to enter the plane, she turned around had turned to wave before walking inside.

But as she did, she tripped and fell embarrassingly to her knees, in front of a horrified flight stewardesses.

The lights were quickly switched off to prevent photographers taking pictures of her being helped from the floor… but luckily this video had already been taken.

275x250.jpg A student-built solar-powered car has broken the world record for being the faster ever made, after reaching almost 55 mph.

The team from the University of New South Wales made the run at the HMAS Albatross navy base airstrip with their creation the Sunswift IVy solar car, last week.

Powered only powered by silicon solar cells - the batteries were removed -
professional racing Barton Mawer drove the car to a record 88 kmh (nearly 55 mph).

Students said there was more cloud cover than they would have liked during the three days of testing… they even considered changing the name to Cloudswift.

275x250.jpgWeird News We Didn't Write: Our daily roundup of the best odd news stories from elsewhere on the web.

A Canadian body-builder who says he used a penis enlarger for 500 hours without seeing the desired results is seeking compensation in a small-claims court. Small-claims court, see what they did there? (Chronicle Herald)

Critics claim artist Damien Hirst has finally gone too far after revealing his latest offering, a diamond-studded baby skull.  (Aol Weird News)

We are still waiting for confirmation that the Dear Leader has a pair himself, but contraband skinny jeans are all the rage in North Korean. (We Interrupt)

Last week, his crime-fighting antics made Phoenix Jones an internet hit. But now the real-life superhero is just another man with a broken nose after trying to break up a fight. (NY Post)

A Chinese artist has spent more than a year building a life-size BMW out of hundreds of bricks. He now hopes to sell the creation, which weighs 6.5 tons, for £80,000. (Daily Mail)

275x250.jpg It looks like the result of a radioactive disaster, and you'd be forgiven for thinking it was populated by two-headed fish.

But Canadian officials say pranksters are to blame for this fluorescent green river and that it poses no threat to the local wildlife.

As these impressive images show the Goldstream river, which passes through the city of Langford, British Columbia was recently turned a bright green.

Experts were initially bamboozled as to what caused the colour change, but now believe it was caused by prankster with access to fluorescein… and a diary with St Patricks day in on the wrong date.

A previously unknown Irish footballer who became a web hit thanks to a video of him scoring a wonder-goal, has missed out on a prestigious award.

A bizarre moment of division defying skill had seen Glentoran striker Matthew Burrows in contention of winning the FIFA goal of the year award.

His frankly amazing 15-yard volleyed back-heel lob goal (really) put him up against the likes of Lionel Messi and Arjen Robben for the FIFA Puskas title.

But unfortunately the Northern Ireland Carling Premiership player last night lost out to Hamit Altintop's 22-yard volley for Turkey against Kazakhstan.

His team-mates hope it could bring an end to his incessant: "Do you remember the time I scored that 15-yard volleyed back-heel lob?" conversations.

275x250.jpg The Royal Mail has released a set of stamps featuring cult TV shows including Thunderbirds, Captain Scarlet and Stingray.

Specially commissioned to celebrate the 50th anniversary of puppeteer Gerry Anderson's work, the stamps are sure to be a hit with retro TV fans.

Other TV shows commemorated with the stamps include Joe 90, Fireball XL5 and Supercar, which first aired in 1961.

We are sure the stamps would also be popular with children… if only they had ever heard of Tunderbirds… and still knew what stamps were for.

275x250.jpgMore people will spend time looking for a new job today, than any other day of the year, it has been found.

Researchers analysed internet traffic to job websites for the past six years in a bid to predict the peak this year.

They discovered today will be the time most jobseekers make good on New Year resolutions to find or change employers and start searching.

And the 15-minute window just after 12.30pm showing the absolute peak slot as workers combine the start of their lunch break with an online job search.

Which could explain why this story didn't get written earlier… just don't tell the boss.

It's said more women are beginning to play video-games, but not this one -- the SEGA Toylet is very much only for men.

That's because the bizarre console is only fitted to urinals and is used by players peeing at a sensor to control the action

Toylet games consoles are currently being installed on the toilets at metro stations in Tokyo and will offer bladder-emptiers four mini-games.

As men target their pee, LCD screens above the urinal shows the games which rewards the strength, length and accuracy.

Games include ones to compete with previous 'players' to see who has the strongest flow or who can pee the longest… they undoubtedly cause many missed trains.

275x250.jpgThe average cash machine has been found to be as dirty, and carry the same germs as public toilets, say scientists.

Experts took swabs from the numeric key pads on a string of city centre ATMs around England which are used by thousands of shoppers every day.

They then took similar swabs from the seats of nearby public toilets and compared the bacteria under microscopes in a lab.

The samples from both locations were found to contain pseudomonads and bacillus, bacterias which are known to cause sickness and diarrhoea.

Worryingly experts say the results show the levels on cash machines and toilets were comparable… the added that they are never using an ATM again.

275x250.jpgWeird News We Didn't Write: Our daily roundup of the best odd news stories from elsewhere on the web.

Sightings of an orange alligator have caused a stir in Florida with experts unsure whether it is part albino or has been dyed… though even they are not sure how you would dye an alligator. (GuVid) (MyFox)

An Italian man who was shot in the head has stunned doctors after sneezing out the bullet which had entered the right side of his head and passed behind his eye. (Asylum)

A Chinese construction worker says he has spent more than six months learning how to make his bulldozer dance. Cao Bing says he also suffered several injuries to the head during his practice. (GuVid) (Telegraph)

It looks like NASA are branching out into movie criticism. Space boffins say "2012" is the most ridiculous sci-fi film ever. (Aol Weird News)

A Croatian man is celebrating a commissioning his own glass coffin, by using it as a coffee table until he dies. (Mirror)

Weather Channel presenter Stephanie Abrams says she wasn't aware a weather report was filled with double entendre.

But given the way she smirked while talking about loads, quickies and liking it in and out, we're not convinced.

In the clip - which has been watched more than 350,000 times on YouTube - Abrams talks about the benefits of a 'weather quickie' as apposed to having  a 'front unloading on us'.

However, it's only when she talks about a storm, saying it's "in and out, it's just how we like it' that her colleagues seem to find the double-entendre too much and crack up.

Claiming to be innocently talking about the weather Abrams responds with: "What did I say, I don't even know what I said"… which would have been more convincing if she wan't smirking.

275x250.jpgResearchers have created a device which they claim could help people overcome their fear of the dentists - by canceling out the sound of the drill.

Experts at Brunel University say the anxiety-inducing sound can be eliminated by using their gadget which plugs into an MP3 player.

This then uses a microphone and adaptive filtering to cancel out the high-pitched drill noise, while allowing the patient to hear the music and what their dentist is saying.

It's hoped use of the device could encourage more people to visit the dentist as it's the sound of the drill which is said to prevent many people from seeking treatment.

The dental team are currently looking for an investor to help bring the device to market… but investors are probably too scared to meet them. 

275x250.jpg Hundreds of uninhibited New Yorkers have once again stripped off their trousers and skirts to participate in the 10th annual No Pants Subway Ride.

When the event launched 10-years-ago just seven people took part, yesterday an estimated 3,500 bared their legs and braved sub-freezing temperatures.

At 3pm the subway riders met at six points across the city before boarding subway trains and taking off their trousers or skirts. If asked why they'd removed their pants (trousers) participants said they were 'getting uncomfortable'.

After disembarking the trains the leg-baring subway riders stood on the platform admiring each others underwear… and confusing the life out of other passengers.

275x250.jpgToday has been dubbed 'Diet Day' -- after it was found to be the most popular day of the year for Brits to begin 'serious dieting'.

A study of 3,000 people discovered that 49 percent said they were going to be starting a health kick in January in a bid to become fit and lose weight.

Of those, almost 70 percent planned to start today, because it was a Monday and they've already emptied the cupboards of festive treats.

Asked how they planned to make a move towards healthy living, 13 percent said they would be cutting out festive foods like chocolate, nuts and cheese from their diet.

Another 10 percent said they would be joining a gym… which probably make next Thursday the day most Brits will quit their health kick and sit in the jacuzzi rather than exercising.

275x250.jpgWeird News We Didn't Write: Our daily roundup of the best odd news stories from elsewhere on the web.

A young girl is lucky to be alive after her mother lowered her into a train track in front of an on-coming train in a bid to avoid paying their fares. (GuVid) (Sky News)

There is nothing too odd about someone cruising down the highway wearing sunglasses and feeling the wind in his hair... unless they're doing it while riding a mobility scooter. (Washington Post)

A TV news crew kept the camera rolling as they were attacked by a stick-wielding man while investigating a case of alleged animal cruelty. (GuVid) (MyFox)

Leopard attacks have prompted forestry officials in India to ask sugar mill owners to build then more secure concrete huts. (Telegraph) Cheers David… who emailed from his own concrete bunker.

A cow in Georgia has given birth to a two-headed calf which owners say eats with both heads - which could be why the cow is refusing to allow her strange offspring to suckle. (Aol Weird News)

275x250.jpg USS Kittiwake, a decommissioned US navy submarine rescue ship, has been intentionally sunk to create a scuba diving attraction.

Now lying on the ocean floor off the Cayman Islands, the 251-foot long, five-deck military ship, will become an artificial reef for divers to enjoy.

Officials say after acquiring the ship they cleaned it before flooding the rusty hull so it would sink upright and then punching holes into the hull and pumped in sea water.

This caused the Kittiwake to sink dramatically in a cascade of bubbles, but don't take our word for it, check out the amazing pictures below.

275x250.jpg Elvis is alive! At least that's what you might think if you visit Birmingham this weekend, because 80 of Europe's best impersonators have descended on the city.

Complete with quiffs, sideburns and uh-huh's, the Priestley impersonators are currently battling it out a the three-day European Elvis Championships.

The top European Elvis will then secure a place at the International Elvis Tribute Artist Contest in Memphis.

As with any Elvis event, the Elvi (we think that's the correct plural) come in a variety of shapes and sizes. So far our favourite is 12-year-old Nicholas Tyler, who can be seen below.

275x250.jpgA life-sized Dalek and a set of gold teeth worth £6,500 are just some of the odd items left in rooms by guests, a hotel chain has revealed.

Bosses at Travelodge say other bizarre things left in their rooms in 2010 include an antique rocking horse, a 4ft yam and £10,000 in cash.

After reviewing their lost and found offices staff were also surprised to find a superintendent’s ID badge, Keys to a Rolls Royce Phantom and a traffic lollipop stick.

Meanwhile the most common items left behind were mobile phones, gadgets, laptop computers, teddy bears and books.

Slightly worryingly artificial limbs were the seventh most frequently forgotten items… followed by adult toys.

275x250.jpgBosses of a pantomime staring Jim Davidson have been forced to change the costume of a nurse in the show… because the original one broke the Geneva Convention.

Producers of Pavilion Theatre were informed the outfit worn by Nurse Poltis in their Robin Hood show could see them landed in court.

The British Red Cross said the use of red crosses on her comedy hat and tunic were unauthorised use of their emblem and the theatre was in violation of the Geneva Conventions Act 1957.

Because this was also breaking the law and could see bosses face prosecution the costume was quickly changed to feature a green cross.

It sounds to us like someone at the British Red Cross has always fancied themselves as a panto villain. Oh yes they do!

275x250.jpgWeird News We Didn't Write: Our daily roundup of the best odd news stories from elsewhere on the web.

An turtle which was seriously injured and suffered a fractured spine when he was run over by a lawn mower has been fitted with a set of training wheels. (GuVid) (3News)

A man says he is lucky to be alive after he was hit by a stray bullet. He was saved because the mobile phone in his jacket pocket deflected the bullet. (MyFox)

Witches in Romania say they are planning a unique protest after tax rules were introduced governing their profession, they're preparing to curse the country's rulers. (Aol Weird News)

High school basketball player Austin Groff has become a YouTube hit after pulling off an impressive backwards buzzer shot. Unfortunately his team went on to lose the game. (Yahoo) (GuVid)

Driving a convertible car with the top down could damage your hearing. WE SAID DRIVING A CONVERTIBLE… (Telegraph) Cheers Tom… there's no need to shout.

When Lucy Wright wanted to help with her son's homework, she decided only the best would do… so she filed a Freedom of Information request to the Home Office. (Telegraph) Thanks David… who never needs help.

275x250.jpgAn accidentally spilled cup of coffee is said to have activated a hijacking alert on a flight from Chicago to Germany.

Earlier this week, United Airlines Flight 940 made an unplanned landing in Canada with the airline claiming it was because of a "communication issue".

But it's now thought the impromptu landing was made because a hijacking alert was activated when a pilot's coffee was spilled on radio equipment during turbulence.

Reports claim the pilot could have inadvertently hit the transponder knob sending out a signal indicating the Boeing 777 had been hijacked. Meaning a landing had to be made.

Federal aviation authorities are currently investigating… and they won't be happy if they find he landed in Toronto to top up his Mocha at the airport Starbucks.

275x250.jpg More than 26,000 fans of the TV series lost have won the lottery - by playing the same numbers as the character Hurley in the show.

In the series Hugo ‘Hurley’ Reyes, played by Jorge Garcia scooped $114m by playing the numbers 4,8,15,16,23 and 42.

But real-life lottery players were less lucky with the digits, they each won just $150 for matching four of the six numbers in the US Mega Millions this week.

It's said the chances of winning the $355 million Mega Millions jackpot is one in 175,711,536… about the same as having guessed what was going to happen next in Lost.

275x250.jpgThere is a staggering £295 million worth of out of date tins, tubs, herbs and spices hidden in the back of kitchen cupboards, it's been found.

A study of British kitchens has found the typical household pantry contains nine items - worth around £12 - whose sell-by date has long since passed.

Mixed spices, soup, herbs, baking soda and tinned fruit are the most common goods to be found languishing at the back of cupboards.

Sauces, stock cubes, mustard and pickled onions also emerged as items which are rarely used and often go beyond their date before being used.

Slightly worryingly, the study also found six in ten women have deliberately fed their other half out-of-date food. Really.

A terrified deer has been rescued by firefighters in Poland after drifting out to sea on a chunk of ice.

The deer is thought to have became stranded on a floe when it ran onto ice near the village of Ustronie Morskie after being scared by dogs.

Luckily passersby spotted it drifting around 200 meters from the shore in the Baltic Sea and called fire services who launched a rescue mission.

Rescuers say their team faced serious risks navigating sharp ice sheets to save the animal, but managed to reach it at the "last moment".

Once recovered the deer was wrapped in a blanket and carried back to shore… and given a pair of ice skates and an inflatable rubber ring.

WNWDW: Chinese man grows three-inch horn

275x250.jpgWeird News We Didn't Write: Our daily roundup of the best odd news stories from elsewhere on the web.

Two years ago it was just a small bump on the top of his head, but Huang Yuanfan has seen the lump grow into a bizarre three-inch horn which has baffled doctors. (Metro)

The owner of a kleptomaniac kitty says she's embarrassed by the actions of her criminal cat which has recently returned home with items including, 60 shoes and a ski mask. (Stuff)

A real-life superhero, wearing a mask and skin-tight rubber suit, has chased off a would-be car crook in the US. Really. (Asylum)

A US man says he returned to his house after Christmas to discover his home had been accidentally demolished by contractors. (GuVid) (CBS)

Even royals are not immune to the occasional wardrobe malfunction, just ask Prince Henrik of Denmark. Must resist crown jewels joke… (Aol Weird News)

275x250.jpg There were countless photographs taken of the partial solar eclipse yesterday… but this one has to be our favourite.

It shows (or the bigger version below does) a double partial solar eclipse with both the moon and the International Space Station passing in front of the sun.

And it didn't happen by accident, after calculating the geometry of the ISS orbit, astrophotographer Thierry Legaul travelled from France to the Sultanate of Oman to get the perfect shot.

Not only that, but he had to act fast, because the ISS was only in front of the Sun for less than second… meaning we'd have still been fiddling with the lens cap.

Noodling, a crazy sport where anglers use their arms as bait to catch catfish has become an internet hit.

But experts warn sticking your arms in riverbed holes and waiting for the fish to latch on with their sharp teeth is also a great way to lose a finger.

It's said some noodlers have even drowned as they tried to wrestle the huge creatures - which can weigh 30kg - to the surface of the water.

Others have been left with serious lacerations to their arms or come into contact with alligators or snakes while noodling.

Which might leave you wondering why the odd sport has become a hit… and that's before you've even watched some of the videos on YouTube.

275x250.jpgAnatomist Gunther von Hagens, the man behind Body Worlds and the Institute for Plastination, says he is dying and plans to become part of his own exhibition.

The 65-year-old, dubbed 'Dr Death' thanks to his gruesome exhibitions of dead bodies in bizarre poses, has revealed he's suffering from Parkinson's Disease.

Having hidden the illness for two years, he says the symptoms have become too severe and that doctors suggest he could now have just seven years to live.

It's said he's planning to undergo the plastination preservation process after his death and already thinking about where he wants to be exhibited.

Given he has previously shown bodies playing sports or even having sex, we are curious about what pose he will want to be in… and whether he will still be wearing that hat.

A homeless man is seeing job offers pour in, after a YouTube video of him showing off his incredible voice became a viral hit.

Ted Williams used to work as a radio announcer, but hard times saw him jobless, homeless and holding a sign begging for cash at the side of a road in Ohio.

And that's where he was found when he recently became the subject of a viral video after a journalist noticed his sign, boasting he had a "God-given gift of a great voice".

After the exchange of a few dollars, Williams released his silky smooth FM voice saying things like: "we'll be right back with more after these words" for the camera.

Now, after gaining more than 4 million views on YouTube, the job offers are pouring in… we just wish we could get him to read Newslite stories to us at night.

275x250.jpgWeird News We Didn't Write: Our daily roundup of the best odd news stories from elsewhere on the web.

A video of a cat putting on a rabbit hat has become an online hit -- but if the cat really putting it on or taking it off. Who cares, it's a cat in a bunny hat. (GuVid) (Metro)

A Filipino politician has managed to solve his own murder -- because while taking a photo of his family, he inadvertently took a photo of his killer as a gun was being aimed at him. (Sky)

An "unkillable" cow which withstood bullets and being rammed with a truck has attacked a rancher and put him in hospital. (NBC Miami)

A giant 342kg bluefin tuna has sold for a record £250,000 in Tokyo - where apparently the cats have too much money. (WTSP)

The man who created Jelly Belly jelly beans says he is about to release another hit sweet - a 2.5-pound anatomically correct gummy heart oozes candy blood in 11 spots. (Aol Weird News)

A week-long amateur bullfighting event in Colombia has seen some 48 would-be matadors being injured after jumping into an arena to taunt 1,000-pound bulls. No, we're not surprised either. (ITN)

275x250.jpg A brave/stupid penguin escaped from a pool at Münster Zoo in Germany and ended up waddling around the lion enclosure.

Three-month-old African Penguin Leona is said to have somehow strolled out of her ice-covered pool and onto visitors paths and an ice-covered moat.

From there she climbed a snow-capped bank and jumped onto some nearby ice… which just so happened to be in the middle of the the lion enclosure.

Luckily staff at the German zoo noticed the feathered intruder before the lions - who were sleeping - and lured her to safety by throwing a trail of herrings.

275x250.jpg A busty would-be model has been proudly showing off her brand new E-cup boob job -- which she won in an online auction for just £3.90.

20-year-old Danielle Sheehan recently underwent surgery at a private clinic in Norwich after winning the chance to boost her size 34C breasts to a 34E.

The healthcare worker, who has always wanted bigger boobs, says she placed a bid on for an "ultimate ­makeover" and was shocked to win for just £3.90.

She then used the prize to have the £4,100 boob job carried out by a leading cosmetic surgeon… all for less than the price of a push-up bra.

Snow causes some people to do daft things. Like being towed down Park Avenue on skis by a car driving at 40mph.

The masked man hopped onto his skis in the early hours of Monday morning and got a buddy to drive through Manhattan.

Video footage then shows him holding onto a rope suspended from the back of the car and being towed through the city.

It's said the daredevil completed two runs, from 34th Street to 26th Street, and then again from 28th Street to 23rd Street, doing around 40mph.

It's shocking isn't it? Not that he risked his life… but that anyone was ever able to do 40mph on Park Avenue.

275x250.jpgThe average woman in Britain will spend eight months of her life bargain-hunting, it has been found.

A study of 4,000 females found the typical woman will wander around stores rifling through racks of clothes for 20 minutes on each shopping trip.

And with most women making a trip to the shops eight times a month, that's two hours and 40 minutes spent looking for that perfect item of cut-price clothing.

It also emerged they head out on three supermarket shops a week and dedicate 13 minutes checking out offers such as two-for-one deals and another 23 minutes a week is spent browsing the internet for bargains.

But despite this many still tell their husbands those new shoes were cheaper than they really were.

275x250.jpg The net was as likely to catch a fish as be hit by the ball in this game. Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer have played against each other on a floating tennis court.

The duo took part in a bizarre exhibition match on the court which had been laid in the water of Doha Bay, Qatar, to promote the upcoming ATP World Tour.

And though the pair have the experience of winning 25 Grand Slam titles between them, neither had played on a surface anything like this before.

While we don't know what score the game ended at, it's not our main concern, we want to know what happened to the ball boys… or should that be ball buoys.

275x250.jpgWeird News We Didn't Write: Our daily roundup of the best odd news stories from elsewhere on the web.

A woman says she is suing Disney, because Donald Duck groped her at a theme park in Florida. She says the nappy-wearing duck grabbed her breast. (Mirror)

A Chinese man has set a new world record for withstanding extreme cold, by immersing himself in ice for 120 minutes. (Xinhua) (YouTube)

Police in Vancouver say they are hunting thieves who drove a van into a bowling alley and knocking over a cash machine before loading it into the back of their vehicle. (KPTV)

The Queen's Christmas message has become a YouTube hit, but not the one from this Christmas… her first one from back in 1957. (Telegraph)

Researchers say our brains are shrinking… it's a good job they made the discovery now, otherwise we might all be too stupid to have worked it out. (NPR)

275x250.jpgWeird News We Didn't Write: Our daily roundup of the best odd news stories from elsewhere on the web.

A man wearing a Darth Vader mask and pink hospital scrubs has tried to hold up a bank inside the grocery store where he works. (WSBT)

Miniature panda-cows… apparently they are a real thing now. That is all. (GuVid) (Daily Telegraph)

Goldman Sachs job interviewees were asked: "If you were shrunk to the size of a pencil and put in a blender, how would you get out?" (Telegraph)

Fortune-telling has been recognised as a legal profession in Romania, clairvoyants and astrologers said they saw the change in legislation coming. (Arbroath)

A pair of 'magic pythons' have been married in Cambodia in front of hundreds of well-wishers in the hope their union will bring prosperity and peace to the region. (AP)

A suicidal man who jumped from the ninth floor of a New York building failed to kill himself because he landed on a pile of rubbish bags which built up during the recent blizzard. (Aol Weird News)

James Jablon has announced an unusual New Years resolution… he plans to spend the next month living in a fenced enclosure with two African lions. (Click On Detroit)

Frogger is a fun game to play, but as a US man recently found out, it's best to stick to the computer-game version - he was hit by an SUV. (Stuff) Thanks David… please cross carefully.

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