crime: August 2012 Archives

275x250.jpg We've seen some crazy criminal excuses here at Newslite Towers - like the burglar who told cops he was a trainee locksmith - and here's another great one.

A man in Middlesbrough reportedly told police that aliens had instructed him to go into his mother’s home and steal food to give to the homeless.

A hearing at Teesside Crown Court also heard that John Kirby had smashed into his uncle’s home before stealing aftershave and toiletries … also at the behest of aliens.

29-year-old Kirby - who had previous convictions for burglary - had left fingerprints at the scenes of the two burglaries and representing himself in court entered guilty pleas.

The judge jailed Kirby for 12 months, of which he will serve half. There's no new if the instructing aliens will face any charges.

275x250.jpg A woman was reportedly knocked unconscious when the portable toilet she was sitting in was pushed over by a group of young thugs.

The unfortunate woman had beed in Dalbeattie, Dumfries and Galloway for the town's gala day celebrations when the need struck and she popped into the loo.

But as she was doing her business, a gang of youths toppled the loo before running off and the incident left the 27-year-old unconscious at around 22:45 on Saturday.

Luckily passers-by rescued her and she was taken to Dumfries and Galloway Royal Infirmary where she was discharged, despite suffering from a severe bout of embarrassment.  

Police are currently trying to trace the toilet-tipping teens.

275x250.jpg An Australian man has unsurprisingly ended up in hospital after showing off with his 'fireworks between the buttocks' party trick, and it backfired.

The 23-year old had reportedly been attending a party in the Darwin suburb of Rapid Creek when he decided to show off with his party piece.

So he dropped his trousers and placed a firecracker between his buttocks before lighting it. In a shock to no-one but the man himself, he ended up with burns to his butt cheeks and privates.

Other party-goers contacted paramedic, but by the time they arrived the man had already taken himself to hospital … probably not sitting in the drivers seat.

It's understood the man was later transported to a specialist burns unit and could be fined for being in possession of fireworks beyond an approved period.

275x250.jpg When a man from Florida had his hand bitten off at the wrist by a hungry alligator, he probably thought it couldn't get much worse, then he was charged unlawful feeding of an alligator.

Airboat captain Wallace Weatherholt had been giving a family a tour of the Everglades when the accident happened shortly after spotting the 9-foot alligator.

It's been reported that Weatherholt held a fish over the side of the boat in a bid to provoke it, which is when he lost his hand at the wrist.

Authorities later tracked an killed the gator, and retrieved the hand from its stomach, but doctors were not able to reattach it.

Feeding an alligator is a second-degree misdemeanor, which can be punished with a fine of up to $500 and possible jail time.

275x250.jpg A gang of knights - complete with medieval attire, a sword and an axe - have robbed the organisers of a medieval festival and made off with £15,600.

The weird crime took place in Bitche, near France's border with Germany, earlier this week after the "Medievales Europeennes de Bitche" festival.

Police say witnesses told them three or four men who were 'masked and wearing medieval attire' attacked the organisers with the handle of an axe.

They then grabbed the money, revenues from the festival, and escaped with the cash … we're not too sure how fact you can run in a suit or armour.




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