celebrity: May 2011 Archives


We all know what it's like to make a joke, only to find out it doesn't quite have the chuckle-inducing properties you were hoping for. Just ask David Cameron.

Luckily, unlike the PM, our tumbleweed moments have never been broadcast live around the world -- as was the case when he told a 'lead balloon' of a joke at the Obama Downing Street barbecue.

During his post-meal speech, Cameron told the assembled guests that the BBQ had been  "probably the first time in history a British Prime Minister has given an American president a bit of a grilling".

And then he paused for laughter, but was greeted instead with a deathly silence, there wasn't even one laugh. Not even from Nick Clegg. 



It's designed to withstand a terrorist attack - but it turns out Barack Obama's bullet-proof limo 'The Beast' has more of a problem with the humble speed bump.

Yesterday as President Obama was leaving the U.S. Embassy in Dublin in his custom General Motors Cadillac, en route to his ancestral home in County Offaly, the £400,000 vehicle got wedged on a ramp.

The car - which has eight-inch thick armour-plating and weighs 8 tons - was leaving the building, when crowds who had gathered heard a loud bang and saw the car come to a swift halt.

It then became clear the impressive vehicle was stranded and Barack Obama was forced to abandon it… though given it boasts its own oxygen supply he must have been tempted to sit it out rather than make the embarrassing walk of shame.

275x250.jpg A comedian has performed a one-off gig to a field of cows in a bizarre 'experiment' to see whether they have a sense of humour.

Mock the Week and BBC Radio 4 funny-man Milton Jones, traveled to Hertfordshire where he performed an exclusively written routine to the assembled crowd of Friesians.

His 'Pull the Udder One' stand-up set included a selection of visual and verbal one liners and puns and the performance was observed by a bovine behaviour expert to see how the cows responded.

Milton's jokes included: ‘So you cows say you’re vegetarians – but how come you all wear leather, eh?’ and ‘Went to one of those farmers markets the other day – bought a couple of farmers. Should taste lovely!’

275x250.jpg This unlucky motorist seems to have paid the ultimate price for making the error of telling his partner she wasn't as attractive as Pippa Middleton.

The red-faced driver of the Peugeot 206, was caught on camera driving through Birmingham with 'Is Pippa's Bum Still Better Than Mine???' daubed across the side of it in white paint.

It appears the scorned woman took revenge on the unknown man, who looks to have made the mistake of expressing his admiration for the royal maid of honour's most talked about asset, her bottom.

The scruffy message was painted in bright white letters down the passenger side of the blue vehicle which was spotted on Wednesday afternoon… onlookers said they thought the driver had received a bum deal.

A Beijing grandmother is the latest person to shoot to '… Got Talent' fame after performing an energetic Michael Jackson-inspired dance routine.

65-year-old Bai Shuying was appearing on the Chinese version of the show when she strutted her stuff in a black and white outfit.

After initially surprising China's Got Talent judges and viewers by telling them she was going to dance, the OAP then left them shocked by how sprightly she is.

While the granny admits she's inspired by Michael Jackson, she says she taught herself to dance and choreographed the entire routine on her own.

Talking on the hit TV show, Bai also said that she also loves "hip hop dancing"… which makes her considerably cooler than us.



President Obama has taken his revenge on Donald Trump by publicly mocking the famously-haired entrepreneur at a high-profile White House event.

Last week Obama released his long-form birth certificate to prove he was a genuine American, after months of demands from birth certificate obsessed Trump. And most people thought that was it over...

But over the weekend Obama got his own back by ripping into his would-be rival at the White House Correspondents' Dinner saying: "Donald Trump is here tonight. Now, I know that he's taken some flak lately, but no one is happier, no- one is prouder to put this birth certificate to rest than The Donald.

"And that's because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter… like, did we fake the moon landing? What really happened at Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac?"


It probably didn't escape your notice that there was the little matter of a certain  royal wedding on Friday.

But while most people were talking about the dress or the kiss, the event of the day as far as we were concerned was the cartwheeling vicar.

Well after the wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton had taken place and some 1,900 guests had left Westminster Abbey, one clergyman couldn't contain his excitement.

Thinking the TV cameras had been turned off, the verger proceeded to cartwheel along the red carpet-lined aisle of the abbey… later finding the cameras were still rolling and he'd become a YouTube star.




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